24 by 24

Welcome to 24 by 24, a collection of lessons I’ve gathered over 24 years—each one shaped by lived experiences, challenges, and revelations. These aren’t just abstract ideas; they’re reflections of moments that demanded change, growth, and sometimes, letting go. They’ve marked turning points, small and big, that I never saw coming, yet they molded me into the person I am today.

Since the last list of lessons, written at the ripe age of 20, (4 years ago), I’ve gone from a place of stubborn certainty to a deeper understanding of what it means to live with intention, to recognize the things worth fighting for and, just as importantly, when to yield. The following lessons carry weight not because they’re mere universal truths, but because they’re truths I’ve lived, ones I’ve wrestled with, and ones I continue to learn from as the years roll on.

As you read, know that this is just a snapshot — an evolving story of growth, realization, and the nuanced understanding that sometimes life’s biggest lessons come not in the form of answers, but in the questions we keep asking.​

1. For love to prevail, it has to be your state of mind.
   Many a parable will tell you to see the good in others, but you won't be able to do that if good isn't present in house.
2. Give yourself a hug, and then sit down and give your inner child that much-needed chronocursive hug.
   The word "chronocursive" is a made-up adjective combining two key elements:
   "Chrono-": Derived from the Greek "chronos," meaning time. It signifies that the concept relates to or involves time.
   "Cursive": From the Latin "cursus," meaning flow, running, or movement. It implies something that flows or moves smoothly, often with a sense of continuity or progress.
   Together, "chronocursive" suggests something that flows through or moves across time.
3. Meet people where they are, not where you are or where you need them to be.
   Projecting is a very easy and default setting for too many of us, so instead, think about accepting people just as they are and appreciate what can and cannot be.
   "If we are quiet and ready enough, we will find compensation in every disappointment." – Thoreau
4. Knowing Yourself. Ma'at said it best!
   "Know the world in yourself. Never look for yourself in the world, for this would be to project your illusion."
5. Gratitude is the attitude of receiving.
   Silly to some but wise words for me, a Tesco slogan, "Every little helps." Every and anything that has come your way is a blessing – so often in disguise.
6. Energy flows where attention goes.
   What are you fixating on, what is important to you right now? What isn't? Are you succeeding in what you are focused on, or are negative thoughts winning first place in the race of your mind's thoughts?
7. Excellence is a habit – practice daily.
   Whatever it may be, becoming the "best" version of yourself is as simple as putting it into practice and making it your default setting. I have to thank OrKidstra for this one, since it comes right from the 10 leading notes.
8. Simplify, simplify, simplify.
   There are loads of pieces of advice about writing things down on paper and choosing the top 3 or just the top individual goal or important focus area in life, and while to me it's a complete bore of a task, what it does go to say is that simplifying and narrowing down the path can permit the necessary focus to proceed! So, simplification allows us to proceed and focus on what's necessary.
9. Focus on repeat messaging.
   Random? No such thing. Well, that's not true, but what we call random colloquially diminishes the grandeur and logic of most things that are relevant, working behind closed doors, while we cannot connect the dots to understand how the outcome we are presented with has manifested. Observation has a direct effect on the state of things.
   When messages are repeat affairs, and messages can be absolutely anything that communicates something to you, PAY ATTENTION! Have you ever witnessed a repeating pattern in your own life or the lives of others? Our lessons tend to re-emerge if we do not learn from them and integrate them well the first time. This past year a recurring message I've come to appreciate, although not necessarily as happily as it's tossed around, is to "hate the game and not the player." I can unpack that some other time, but whew, that's been on replay, broadcasted everywhere from social media to print to new people I meet.
10. Patience – it's not about how long you can wait, it's about how long you can wait level-headed.
    Patience is a game of endurance and more. Do you see the trees rushing to grow? Nope. Do you see the sun rushing to rise? Nope. Why are we in such haste, and in such desperate enterprises?
11. Accept it.
    I get a lot of hate for this one, because people jump the gun in their inference of what I tell people to accept. So let's clarify: I'm not talking about accepting misogyny or states/effects of dire disregard for humanity which stems from negative and inherently wrong ideologies... I'm talking about accepting that things happen, and that you are not in complete control. That's what I mean by, accept it.
12. Everything happens for a reason.
    Some reasons become immediately clear, others later on, and some (or many in my case) never present their raison d'être. And? Do we need to be aware of it all? Can we learn to live life with the mystery of it, as it was meant to be lived? I certainly think so.
13. Friends make the longitudes and latitudes.
    Another Thoreau quote, maybe you'll get tired of them, but I never do. This world is as tall as we know it to be, and as wide.
14. Never stop learning.
    I've been out of school for a while now, but my recent knowledge acquisitions are currently in two primary categories: gastronomy/baking and culture/language. Why? Well because I love a challenge and have loads of fun with these. Learning helps to increase neuroplasticity, and who doesn't love a functional and fun task to flex our brain muscles?
15. Never say no!
    Well that sounds like inherently bad advice, but it's not a be-all end-all blanket statement. Here I am talking about the importance of saying Yes (duh): to opportunities, to experiences, and to life. This is really about squashing the doubts you may have of "is this really for me?" or "maybe this is not something I'm ready for" and swapping those counterproductive thoughts with "Wow this seems different, and this seems fun, and why not give this a try?"
16. Look beyond the frame.
    This is not advice for appreciating art, although you could take it as such. Context is everything. One of the biggest realizations I have had this past year is, as I enter more and more spaces, renowned ones, and fill my agenda... there is a lot of good and bad, and the clockwork ranges from 1950 tech to pen and paper. What on earth am I really saying? Well, big companies and organizations, enterprises, and entrepreneurship, and civilizations are not things that pop up overnight. They take a long time, and in that process, things are tossed to the side and not everything finds the place it has to. Having worked in many departments across many industries now, I cannot tell you just how much I have learned to appreciate myself, when I see the way things work behind the scenes for multinationals grossing half a yard. Some would say you could call this "the grass isn't greener on the other side" sort of statement, but for me, it was never about better or worse at one place versus another, but rather how much it made sense to me, and how much I made to those places. And when it was the latter, I knew my bags had to get packed, and a new itinerary was needed.
17. You are going to be what you are going to be no matter what.
    You will have what you will have, as it should be. Oof? Destiny? Well this is another one that splits people heavily. At least for me at this point in my life, I have learned to appreciate the present moment because it really is all we have to work with, for now. "On nous apprend à vivre quand la vie est passée." – Michel de Montaigne. Too often do we get caught up obsessing over things that we don't really need or even want. Our egos are the great convincers. They know our weaknesses the best. So it is our job to know our strengths more and cultivate them instead! Please do not let life pass you by.
18. Take care of yourself.
    A famous Arabic proverb says that health is a crown only the sick can see. An adage that, if you are fortunate or attentive enough, you would likely not suffer from. I am keen that now I work more, learn more, and in general, care more for myself, in the way that I need, and learn to need. We are not machines, and the field of medicine and health is complex. We know things now that we later learn to be wrong, or sometimes true, but for differing logic. The world is full of advice, just like this very post, but do you give yourself enough space to hear yourself out? What are you yearning for? What are you craving? What does your body want? What does your body really need? Ask yourself these questions and do it sooner rather than later. When the blockages begin and the gunk starts to find any nook and crevice in your body, it will do you no good. So get ahead of the bad times and the poor health, and invest in good food, invest in tools that allow you to put your health first. Do what's best for your health.
19. Flâneur.
    What? This comes from Baudelaire, and his flâneur is a particular character who traverses the streets of the city as an observer of contemporary life; 'a person who walks the city in order to experience it' (Baudelaire 1863). His version of the flâneur (sometimes translated to the English word dandy) bears clear traces of notions and events taking place in 19th Century Europe. And how on earth is this relevant? Well, very! The simple joys of life boil down to what others may ignore in passing. The adage that beauty is in the eye of the beholder extends here to appreciating life, the city we live in, as a way to fundamentally and vividly do more than just be, but go further and find joy or emotions in general, in what/where we are. I certainly would advise finding joy, but it isn't always easy or necessary, so allow yourself to find the emotions you need, and walking does marvels to the thought engine, really gets it going.
20. Believe.
    Mmmmh, in what? you may ask yourself? Well, that is between you and the subject you consider. No matter what, believe. I will link a story of a thrilling and rather crazy experience I had this Summer travelling, and at the heart of my triumph or "luck" was nothing but pure belief. Well that's almost fully true, but if we take this a step further, I guess what I am truly saying here is: Have faith. Have faith that things can and will work out. Believe that miracles exist. Einstein said, "There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." and trust me, the latter is much more fun, exciting, and dare I say better?
21. Things do not change, we change!
    How? Well because this goes back to something I mentioned earlier when I briefly touched upon quantum mechanics... How observation, in itself, and the application of perspective, changes the state of matter! Crazy stuff, I know. And this applies to life, situations in life, and the people that play a part in our lives. Renewing our perspective, in any manner, has a necessary impact on "things." Is it not the colloquial definition of insanity to repeat the same action and expect a different outcome? Are we not insane to leave things as they are to expect them to then change? Nuh-uh. It's a no-go from me. Why else do people say "be the change you want to see."? Because things do not change, we do. And if we haven't, there is no time like the present!
22. Your friends matter, but don't feel bad about those that come and go.While the idea that the five people you cherish define you is often tossed around, I think it's reductive and should be taken with a grain of salt. The real truth is that friends expand our horizons, and that’s far more important. You’ve already seen in #13 how friends shape our experience of the world. We aren’t alone on this planet—friends make life worth living. So, make good friends, care for them, and let them care for you.
    "If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away."
    We need to learn to accept—no matter how sad or blue it makes us feel—that we are often transient in people’s lives. Let that motivate you to make the best of people while they’re still in your life. Don’t become the “you only know the value of something when it’s gone” type of friend.
23. Take your time.
    This is different to lesson 10, because instead of simply practicing patience, this was an important lesson for me to appreciate slowing down, taking a deep breath, and just chipping away at things bit by bit. For many years of my life, a fire in my belly fueled my projects and my passion. But fire is not a sustainable energy source, and I often felt the cold aftermath of burnout. Yikes. Fortunately, this is a lesson I have learned at my young age, a lesson that 1% every day is way better than 1 month of 100% and 11 at .333%. Taking your time also helps life go by at a more pleasant pace than letting things get out of hand and being all in, and then all out. Living life in this hot and cold way is not sustainable, and the big maleficent Saturn comes knocking at our door sometime after 30 or before 40 and checks us. Saturn likes order and structure, and there is no structure to the pain of mismatching your drive. I always used to think I had to do everything humanly possible because life was going to end at any moment, and I had a subconscious fear that I would die without accomplishing anything. Heavy and annoying if you ask me now. It was scary to begin asking the question of what drives me? If I lose that fire that I mistakenly, and for so long, considered my passion and drive, would I ever get anything done? Today I can say, happily share, the answer is YES, I can and DO get plenty done – and continue to impress myself. These are tough ideas to work through because they come from scarcity ideologies that are fundamental to our upbringing, and this was my case especially. Now, when I do something, I do it to enjoy it, to have fun, to love every moment of it, no matter how banal.
24. Don't compare yourself to others, and don't discredit yourself.
    Beings, human ones, but beings in general, are complex. We all have baggage, we all have something on our mind, troubles, successes, and more. Those things do not define us at all. Jealousy, and the green eyes, never suited me, and I much prefer my hazel eyes, but can be an inevitable sensation that we must learn to harbor and keep at bay. I remember this line, no clue from where it comes from, but describes jealousy as drinking poison and expecting it to hurt someone else. Except you just end up hurting yourself. If we are honest with ourselves, we can recognize the inherent wrong of jealousy as we compare ourselves to others and ask why they are like that and have something we do not have, or vice versa, but to no avail and no justification can we alleviate the situation with these thoughts. People are so quick to want things for themselves because they think others do not deserve whatever item or status, or that we are not capable or hard-working enough. Whatever negative thought you have, or worse, if you live in what is now known as "imposter syndrome," I invite you to consider yourself a little more. Maybe you are plagued by trying to please others so much and wish others the best that you have forgotten yourself? We cannot pour from an empty cup. What others also pour isn't what we pour too. We are all beings, but each one of us is a unique variation, our own version, and our own self. Be you, unapologetically, and remember what makes you, you.

Looking back at my "20 by 20" lessons, I see a version of myself that was grappling with a lot—there was a certain sharpness to the way I saw the world, an edge born from hurt and frustration. I was in a place where I felt that no matter how hard life hit, I had to hit back harder. It wasn’t wrong, but it was definitely a stance shaped by angst, by a desire to protect myself from disappointment. There was a bit of sass, a bit of defiance, like I had to armor up to face life head-on.

At 24, things have shifted. It’s not that the lessons from 20 were misguided — they were exactly what I needed at the time. But now, the approach is different. Where I once felt the need to push back, I’ve learned that not everything requires resistance. Life’s hits don’t need to be met with force; sometimes, it’s more about yielding, about letting things flow and learning from them without needing to fight every battle. "Roll with the punches" they say.

I empathize with my 20-year-old self. I understand why I needed that mindset — it was a form of survival. But as I’ve grown, I’ve realized that growth doesn’t always come from fighting; it comes from allowing. From recognizing when to let go, when to lean in, and when to accept that some things are beyond control. The tone now is softer, not out of weakness but out of a deeper sense of strength—a strength that knows when to be still and when to move.
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So, as I reflect on the journey between 20 and 24, I invite you to do the same. It’s incredible how much can change in just a few years, and looking back, I see not only how much I’ve grown but how necessary every step along the way has been. Oh boy, have I grown— but I wouldn’t trade any part of that process.

What about you? Do you resonate with any of these lesson? Having a hard time with a particular one? Let me know in the comments below.