The Art of In-Between

M.C. Escher: Day and Night - 1938

If there’s one thing I know about myself, it’s that I’m obsessed with meaning—not in an abstract, philosophical way, but in a way that shapes how I live, think, and act. It’s not enough for me to care about something; I need to understand why it matters and what I can do about it. The messy space where ideas and humanity intersect is where I feel most alive.

Obsessed with Meaning

Most people think caring is the end goal. You feel deeply, and that’s enough. But for me, it’s never felt like enough to stop at feeling. I want to take that care and turn it into something real—a conversation, a moment, a challenge to the status quo. That’s why I start Ottawa Hub Global Shapers meetings with Indigenous knowledge or why I created The Fourth, a weekly essay that questions assumptions about intelligence, progress, and morality. Not because I have answers, but because I believe the hard questions are worth asking—the ones that make us sit with discomfort, challenge what we’ve taken for granted, and inspire us to rethink.

From Feeling Out of Place to Building Bridges

When I first began pitching my ideas as an entrepreneur, I felt out of place—walking into rooms with seasoned venture capitalists, acutely aware of what I didn’t know. The rooms were sleek, intimidating, and filled with conversations that sounded more like a foreign language than anything I understood. Every PowerPoint slide I presented felt flimsy under the weight of their questions. I wanted to retreat, to find the nearest exit and leave before I embarrassed myself further.

But I didn’t leave. I stayed, and something changed when I stopped trying to fake confidence. I admitted my gaps, asked honest questions, and invited collaboration. The room grew warmer. I noticed a few nods of encouragement from across the table. My vulnerability didn’t undermine me—it humanized me. What I thought was a weakness became a strength—a way to build meaningful connections in spaces where I once felt I didn’t belong.

That experience taught me something critical: showing up fully, even when you feel out of place, is a catalyst for growth. And growth rarely happens in comfort. It happens in the in-between spaces—where intellect meets emotion, ambition meets humanity, and certainty meets doubt.

This lesson extends far beyond those rooms. It’s become a guiding principle in my life. Whether I’m writing for The Fourth or leading a meeting for the Global Shapers, I’ve learned that growth doesn’t come from having all the answers. It comes from being willing to engage in the messy, uncomfortable conversations that lead to meaningful change.

The Power of Complexity

We live in a world that prizes simplicity and certainty. We’re told to specialize, to stick to clear answers, to avoid the discomfort of nuance. But life rarely offers clean lines or easy choices. The most interesting, meaningful things happen in the spaces where opposites meet.

Take the principle of polarity from The Kybalion: “Everything is dual; everything has poles; opposites are identical in nature but different in degree.” Hot and cold are not opposites; they are variations of temperature. Love and hate are not opposites; they are expressions of intense connection. This perspective helped me see that dualities are not enemies—they are two sides of the same coin. Instead of imagining life as a straight line, what if we saw it as a circle, where extremes meet and blend?

When I say “polarity,” I’m not just talking about abstract ideas. Polarity shows up when you have to decide between two equally compelling but opposing truths. It’s the push and pull of wanting to pursue success while staying true to your values. It’s realizing that ambition and humility are not contradictions but partners in growth. Polarity isn’t about choosing one side—it’s about living in the tension between them and seeing how they enrich each other.

Similarly, “nuance” isn’t about indecision; it’s about layers. Imagine peeling an onion. Each layer reveals something new, and every layer is necessary to understand the whole. When you embrace nuance, you stop looking for a single answer and start appreciating the complexity of the bigger picture.

This is where the practical begins to emerge. Embracing polarity and nuance isn’t theoretical—it’s a mindset that shapes how you approach every challenge and decision. The practical ways to navigate this ambiguity stem directly from this understanding.

Thriving in Ambiguity

Embracing nuance isn’t indecision; it’s understanding that life is rarely black and white. Leaders who see complexity inspire innovation. In relationships, nuance fosters empathy and trust. In creativity, ambiguity often leads to groundbreaking work. Complexity isn’t a roadblock; it’s a resource.

Here’s the thing: clarity without depth often leads to outcomes that look good on the surface but feel hollow. On the other hand, sitting with the messy, unresolved middle can lead to deeper insights and more fulfilling choices.

Practical Ways to Embrace Nuance

For those who want to thrive in ambiguity, here’s how to start:

1. Ask Better Questions: Instead of “Is this right or wrong?” try “What am I missing?” or “What does this reveal?” For example, if you’re faced with a tough decision at work, ask what hidden assumptions might be driving your thought process. These questions move the focus from judgment to exploration.
2. Seek Diverse Perspectives: Surround yourself with people who think differently. If you’re working on a project, actively involve someone whose expertise lies outside your own field. Don’t argue to win; listen to understand why their approach might challenge your own.
3. Sit with Uncertainty: Not every situation has a clear answer. For instance, when navigating a career choice, resist the urge to decide immediately. Reflect on what the ambiguity reveals about your values and priorities, even if it feels uncomfortable at first.
4. Embrace Paradoxes: Practice holding opposing ideas at once: “I can be confident and still have more to learn.” For example, you might feel secure in your skills yet open to feedback that challenges your assumptions. This mindset allows for both growth and humility.
5. Shift Perspectives: In moments of conflict, ask, “How would this look from another angle?” Imagine yourself in the other person’s shoes or consider how someone with a different life experience might interpret the situation. Perspective shifts often unlock new ways forward.
   
   

Why This Matters

Life isn’t a clean, simple equation. It’s full of contradictions, gray areas, and moments that defy categorization. But it’s precisely in those contradictions that we find meaning. Growth happens when we step outside the comfortable boxes we’ve built for ourselves. Innovation flourishes when we stop seeing the world as black or white and start exploring the gray areas in between. Empathy deepens when we sit with complexity rather than rejecting it.

Think about it: every major breakthrough, whether in science, art, or society, has come from someone daring to challenge a simplistic view. Consider moments in your own life when you’ve grown the most. Wasn’t it often when you faced a dilemma or sat with a tension that didn’t resolve easily? These experiences aren’t distractions from life—they are life itself.

Because, at the end of the day, thriving in ambiguity isn’t about abandoning conviction. It’s about holding onto curiosity and recognizing that the world is richer and more nuanced than we can fully comprehend. Staying open to that richness is what allows us to keep learning, evolving, and connecting.

A Challenge for You

The next time you face uncertainty, I challenge you to pause and lean into it. Not to fix it, not to label it, but to live with it for a while. What if, instead of running from discomfort, you asked yourself: What am I really afraid of here? or What could this tension be teaching me about what I value most? These questions don’t lead to easy answers, but they open doors to a deeper understanding of yourself and the world around you.

Imagine sitting in a room where every perspective clashes with your own. It’s tempting to tune out, to dig into your position, or to dismiss the discomfort altogether. But what if, instead, you stayed? What if you allowed yourself to genuinely listen, not to respond but to understand? You might find that the very perspectives you’re resisting hold the key to breaking through your own assumptions. That’s the magic of the liminal space—it’s not where answers are given; it’s where they are discovered.

I’ve found this to be true in my own life. When I walked into those venture capital meetings, I felt like an imposter. I wanted to retreat, to protect my pride, to avoid the embarrassment of asking what might sound like a naive question. But when I embraced that discomfort, when I admitted what I didn’t know and leaned on curiosity rather than false confidence, I built bridges instead of walls. Those moments taught me that growth isn’t about having all the answers—it’s about asking the questions that matter.

So here’s my invitation: The next time you encounter a paradox or face a moment where clarity feels out of reach, resist the urge to resolve it too quickly. Sit with it. Let it stretch you.

Ask yourself:
​

• What does this tension reveal about me—my biases, my fears, my hopes?
• How can I use this moment to grow in empathy or understanding?
• What would happen if I let this challenge refine me instead of defining me?
  
  

Because in those messy, unresolved spaces, you might find more than just answers. You might find yourself—a deeper, more connected, and more curious version of you. And in that version of you lies the potential to approach the world not just with certainty, but with wisdom and humility.

This brings us back to meaning. My obsession with it isn’t just personal; it’s universal. Meaning isn’t found in the answers we seek but in the questions we dare to ask. It’s in the connections we forge, the contradictions we embrace, and the spaces in between where life truly happens. So, stay curious. Stay open.

​And remember: meaning is made, not found, in the messy, beautiful journey of understanding.

---

We adore chaos because we love to produce order.
M.C. Escher